All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
