You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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