Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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