At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
