After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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