you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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