Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
