I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
