I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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