just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
