My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize