How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize