girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
