I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
