Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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