The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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