So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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