We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
