He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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