You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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