Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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