you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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