Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hippo gnu deer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
