Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
