My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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