I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
