I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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