HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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