look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize