how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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