Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
