she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
