Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
