butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
