Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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