Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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