Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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