I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
