I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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