I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
