its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
