He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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