i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
