Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize