The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
