i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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