Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize