but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
