I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
