Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
