So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
