I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
