He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
