and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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