i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
