break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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