Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
