That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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