His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
A+ Viking dick
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
