When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
