yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
